Chronicle of my Lagos ‘waka’ 2 (with a list)

Right now, I’m no longer in Lagos, but it’s memories are with me. I had to get a full body massage yesterday cos my muscles were so taut and stuff from sitting, standing and my  ears were hurting after hearing a gazillion things, from the noise of the conductor, to the amebo in the bus that I can’t help but hear, to the drama that happens all the time on the road, there’s always something to fight about.

This is my list of different people in Lagos bus;

Feel free to add yours

1. The quiet ones: These ones don’t talk in bus, probably because they are just introverted or they are actually mad, but cannot bring their madness outside, or it would scatter everywhere and their rep, possibly . So they just keep quiet and take in everything the conductor, driver or passenger does, then gets home and rants about their ordeal to someone

2. The razz ones: These guys have no limits. Anyhow, anywhere, you give them a bout of craze, they dash you a huge portion. Do not mistakenly step on them, you shall regret it and have a story to tell. They shout at the littlest of mistakes and tell you how you can’t come and disturb them in Lagos because of who they are, and how they’d finish you. They’re always in hype mode

3. The overtakers: These ones overtake the entire seats, probably cos they’re big or just feel the need to overuse their transport fare, and be as comfortable as they possibly can, meanwhile inconveniencing other people. And they do it without remorse. They either sit at the edge, and make way for you to enter when they are supposed to actually move inside, then open their legs so wide, it takes up the entire space

4. The change collectors: These guys have no chill, ‘conductor, my change, my change, I’m getting down ‘’ meanwhile they just gave the guy maybe #500 or #1000. Possibly, they’ve forgotten their change in the past, or it’s the last cash on them, or they’re just impatient, only God knows

5. The threatners( that is definitely not a word): “I’d get down from this bus, if you don’t “...... I hear this almost all the time, they are always threatening to get down and collect their 
money at the slightest provocation 

So that’s my list, I know there are a lot more, but that’s what I could come up with right now. If you’ve got any others, please comment in the comment section, and tell me which one of them you are

I’m the quiet one though, I can’t deal with Nigerians and their drama,before they beat me, so I just laugh when it happens to someone, and if it happens to me, I give the conductor a stink eye or something, then hiss in my mind... ‘kent come and die’

Forgive the plenty Nigerian English, that shouldn’t be English in the first place. I’m Nigerian anyways

Have an amazing and blessed weekend 

I’m waiting for you in the comment section ✌🏻